What if I were to say…to my husband:
“I have to think of the past guys I dated in order to fuck you..or suck your dick…or to even play with myself”… (Sorry for the vulgarities but I’m steaming here)… And then I said:
“Oh NM I just thought it would be a funny joke…”.. Or “it doesn’t mean anything.. My needs are just stronger”… And then… Change my story all over again.
This is what porn feels like to me.
Continue reading That’s what Porn says to me…
I AM/ WAS soo excited!?!?!…. I finally talked my husband into letting me get my own computer, so I could do super important things, like listen to music, and try to blog (I say try because I’m still so new at this and kinda clueless to what I am doing) and shit…. ANYWAYS… I got a ASUS touchscreen/laptop, just a little 10inch screen, nothing fancy, simple, for me, the simple minded (when it comes to technology).. from some nerdy dude off of craigslist. I was scared, I took my gun when we met up… not really because I barely know how to use it.
SO here I AM… sitting with this thing, all excited to use it… and my husband walks by and starts poking his fingers allllll over the screen, zooming it in and out, clicking on things I don’t want it to, porno of girls and popcorn kernels coming up (or out huhuh) …(also that isn’t true.. I heard it from a comedian….)… I should mention here my husband is 14… not really, but he acts like a 14 year old little boy when it comes to pestering me because he grew up with 4 brothers and1 sister… and I only had one older sister and have a pretty short fuse and can go from irritated to rage in like .03 seconds…. and he finds it hysterical, until he gets hurt of course, and them I AM taking things to far again, even though I warn him to stop.
Morale of the story… don’t get a touch screen computer when you are Married to a 14 year old man who wears his ninja turtle shirt more than anything and he’s actually 28.
In AA they would tell me “acceptance is the answer to all of my problems today…” which generally I’m inclined to agree…. but right now … which we’re suppose to live in the “now”… I just want to Bitch Slap him.
I love him though. …Really I do.